


5 times Jean said something embarrassing + 1 she didn't

by Akasanata



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Baby Jean is a sweetheart, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M, background hank/raven, family fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-05-26 07:31:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14995904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akasanata/pseuds/Akasanata
Summary: Kids don't have brain-mouth filter, but that only makes them more adorable.





	5 times Jean said something embarrassing + 1 she didn't

**Author's Note:**

  * For [firehawk05](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firehawk05/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Red Riding Hood](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13925751) by [firehawk05](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firehawk05/pseuds/firehawk05). 



One – The First Words

The first time Jean said something embarrassing, was when she said her second word. It was, of course, Pietro’s fault, because the boy wouldn’t stop teasing Wanda all the time.

Jean had just started saying ‘va’ to Erik every time she saw him, and Charles, gloomy because she hadn’t said ‘dad’ yet, tried to spend as much time as his schedule permitted him repeating ‘da-ddy’ in a wide combination of tones and making funnier and funnier faces in an attempt to try to catch her attention.

It was a whole week later when Charles interrupted the customary movie on Saturday night with Raven, Hank and the twins, exclaiming triumphantly, “She said it! She called me ‘da’!”

Grinning as if he had just received another doctorate, Charles then proceeded to roll to center of the room with Jean on his knees and with a slow and high-pitched voice said to her, “Come on, say it again: da. Come on. Da. Da. Daaa.”

She opened her mouth, but instead of saying ‘da’, she turned her gaze towards Erik and happily screamed, “Vati!”

Erik, feeling pity for Charles who had been trying so hard, went to join him and lifting her in his arms repeated what Charles had been trying before, “Come on, Schatz, say ‘daddy’, say ‘da’.”

Pietro, obviously growing bored, interrupted, “She’s never going to say it! Let’s continue with the movie already!”

When Jean heard him, she turned to him and letting a loud scream she yelled, pointing at him, “Idiot!!”

Of course, Raven would never let Charles forget that his daughter’s second word hadn’t been ‘daddy’ but ‘idiot’, Wanda’s favorite way to refer to her brother.

Two – Poop in the Café

Next time it happened, Charles was with Jean in a café. Charles was grading while Jean pretended her sandwich was a dinosaur. Suddenly, she started screaming, “Poop! Poop! There’s poop!”

Charles immediately prepared to transfer to his chair, ready to rush to the bathroom, thinking it was a diarrhea emergency. He could feel everyone else panicking, and luckily for them, they all moved away, letting the way to the toilet completely deserted.

Jean kept screaming “Poop! A poop!” and running through the café, except that she didn’t go to the bathroom. She was running instead towards the window. Charles was ready to carry her and rush to the toilet when he realized that Jean was actually pointing at something outside while still yelling “Poop!”

Just outside the café there was a group of soldiers. Still not understanding if there was an emergency or not, Charles gently dipped into her mind. Apparently, they had just learned in class the word ‘troop’ and that was what Jean was trying to say.

As the two of them left the café, Charles could hear the worried thoughts of people, wondering if a kid had just pooped themselves, some even deciding it would be best not to stay.

Three – Red Riding Hood

All kids say embarrassing things, but the combination of telepathy and Jean’s open honesty made for some interesting stories.

The next time she said something really embarrassing, Erik maintains it was fully Charles’ fault, for being loud.

Charles and Erik were in the study playing chess when Jean entered running. She was carrying a drawing in her hand.

“Look, daddy, vati! I found a drawing of us!”

It was a drawing of the Red Riding Hood, with the grandmother and the wolf.

“And how is this a drawing of us, Jean?” asked Charles.

“I’m Red Riding Hood, because my hair is red. And then, daddy is Grandma, because I’m bringing her food and daddy can’t cook.”

“So I’m the big bad wolf?” asked Erik.

“Yes!” exclaimed Jean. “Because you eat daddy every night!”

Four – Panties for Vati

Then there was the incident in the clothing store. It was near Christmas, and Charles had not bought a gift for Raven yet, but because he was busy grading his student’s papers, he asked Erik to go buy a hand bag for her.

So, there they were, Erik and Jean in a store packed with shoppers, and Jean being Jean, had to run off at the first opportunity. Considering all the metal she had on her clothes, Erik wasn’t overly worried, as he could pinpoint her location without any problem.

Of course, he should have known better than to let his guard down. Not two minutes had passed when Jean screamed all the way from three aisles over.

“Vati! Vati! What is your panty size? Tell me your panty size!”

Erik hurriedly left the hand bag he had in his hand and rushed towards Jean, but she kept screaming, “I found these panties for you, vati! They’re really cute!”

“Go put them back, Jean,” Erik tried his sternest voice, but to no effect.

Jean continued in a completely unnecessary loud voice, “But I found them for you! Try them on! There are lots of sizes!”

“Those are for women, Jean, and I’m a man.”

And in the loudest voice ever Jean replied, “But I’ve seen you have panties in your closet! Or are those daddy’s?”

Needless to say, from that day on, Erik’s closet, and the drawers from the bedside table, were kept fused closed.

Five – Big Boobs

Not only Charles and Erik had to suffer their daughter’s thoughtless commentaries, though. Once, it was Wanda who lived through the embarrassment.

It was a hot summer Sunday and they decided to go to the local pool. Everyone enjoyed the time greatly and the day passed without any mishap. However, a day out with Jean couldn’t end peacefully.

When it was time to go back home, Jean and Wanda went together to the women’s changing room. Wanda was helping her sister to remove the swimsuit when suddenly Jean, buck naked, run all the way through the changing room towards a lady in the back.

“Wow!” she exclaimed, “Your boobs are really big!”

Of course, in a house where the only other woman was a thirteen-year-old girl, any woman’s boobs were really big in Jean’s perspective.

+1. A Happy Baby

They were in the grocery store, Erik, Charles and little Jean. When they were ready to check out, there was a lady in front of them in the queue with a stroller. Inside was one of the ugliest babies Erik had ever seen. His head was terribly big and oddly shaped, with dark circles around his eyes and patchy hair.

As soon as Jean saw him, she tugged the woman’s skirt and screamed, “Hey, Lady! Hey!”

Erik could feel Charles besides him holding his breath, probably preparing himself for another of what was now known as a ‘Jean comment’.

Erik, wanting to safe Charles the embarrassment and himself the headache a possible aggressive reaction from the woman would cause, tried to stop Jean, “Schatzi, leave the nice lady alone.” But Jean ignored him.

“Your baby,” she continued, “he’s very happy.”

She grinned at the woman as if she hadn’t been about to cause a little meltdown. Erik could feel in his head Charles' relief. The woman smiled back and thanked Jean with enthusiasm.

They all left the store in good spirits. After all, not all of Jean’s comments ended up in a hasty retirement


End file.
